The responses of love and support were overwhelming. Thank so much! As a mom all I can say is that having my daughter back home is like being able to breath deeply again. For a long time I felt that the only times I could trully relax were the times I knew Simone was with her dad, now I feel that I can only relax when I know she is at least within a 15 mile radius, if not standing right by my side.
She is actually not by my side at this time...the down side of an independant girl is that she has a strong social circle and is now at her best friend's for a sleep over.
In the past week I have been thinking a lot about our role as mothers of girls. In my life I have been overly condesending and submissive, a strong voice of authority and I feel like a 5 year old being yelled at. I have to struggle within me constantly to stand up for myself and let my voice be heard. This has been the root of many set backs in my life. I never want that for my daughter. I believe that we can't expect to raise submissive daughters at home and expect them to go out as adults and seize the world. We can't expect to have daughters who never attempt to bend rules or question them and then as adults make a change in the world. What they live as kids and the life skills they start learning as kids are the tools that will make them who they are, rule makers or rule takers.
As parents we are always walking the very thin line of freedom of expression for our kids and respect for authority. How to do this is a growing challenge as she gets older. How do I teach her that there are times when she gets a say in the situation and there are times "when Mother knows best" and all this while attempting to raise her well...
So I have decided I want to raise a strong girl, a girl who will not be afraid to make herself be heard and a make a difference in some shape or form. A girl who knows what she wants and will be willing to do the work to get it. Her heart will of course have to be full of love, compassion, faith and God to guide her in the right direction, to set her goals in the right place... but I don't want raise "a good little girl"....because you know, good girls have never made history.