Monday, October 22, 2007

so we ran...

Right after our 1 mile run.

So yesterday we had a great day! Simone signed up for a half mile run at school, she trained for a week and Jorge decided he would come and run the mile with her (he is a great dad!) His arrival was a whole ordeal which included his bags not arriving and him not being able to run with Simone. So I had to. I have always loved running despite of me being so lazy to be disciplined about it. After an almost sleepless night we got up and headed for the race. We took a few pictures and off we went. I am so proud she was able to do it, her training paid off so much! I was exhausted and Jorge cheered us on and met at at the last quarter mile and ran with us. Both of us holding Simone's hand, taking her to the finish - a bit of what life is like. She was really tired but sprinted to the end and the picture is her showing her medal. She is awesome.

The morning was beautiful because somehow we felt like a family. We are the two people that cherish Simone the most and we were spending this time with her, celebrating her. I didn't feel alone raising her. We have come to a point were we can share and talk kindly and be glad for each other's achievements. We were all happy. A great big part of me felt ok with things being the way they are and it felt right. We have a built this that we have now, we moved beyond guilt and pain to create a "family" for Simone. Truly life teaches us that blessings come is so many forms and colors, if we just have a little patience and faith.

Oh, I also realized that I REALLY WANT TO RUN A HALF MARATHON! So I declaring it, now I just have to start training...

Thursday, October 18, 2007

happy soul....

In the midst of fear, pain and despair there has been so much love! And so many blessings....I don't have much to write today but I have really good news to confirm one week from now and I am so HAPPY!

Everything is coming together just perfectly....

With all this experience though, I have learned:

- to surrender
- to have patience
- increased faith
- be diligent
- be the truth
- to receive (what a hard one!)
- to ask
- to feel good all the way through
- to be grateful
- to see blessings, whichever form they manifest

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

i choose....

I am raw. I have chosen to let go of everything and follow the path I am supposed to follow in this divine purpose. I have had moments of panic and despair, moments of fear...yet I find that in the path I discover myself. I have had to let go of my fear of being vulnerable, my fear of not being liked and my fear of disapproval, my fear of not having good credit, my fear of having to be everything for everybody even if it meant being nothing for myself.

I am in the process and the hardest part is learning to surrender and accepting the truth despite it all and being ok with whatever the present moment manifests. Sometimes I have felt that my prayers are not being heard, that my affirmations and my visualizations are not working yet there are tiny moments of intense clarity, moments where beyond my fears I can see how everything makes sense. How my life is falling into place and in a bit it will all be alright because despite it all I am still learning that money is just an illusion and that to have more we have to let it go.

I have also gotten many surprising and wonderful gifts, all unexpected that have shown me that prosperity is vast and unpredictable. That our dreams can go beyond our bank accounts and our pay checks.

So I have come to this point because 5 months ago I chose freedom and 3 years ago I chose truth. And only now that I wrote these words I realize that every challenge has been part of this road I chose, that I can't get where I want to go without going through this. It is the scariest gift I have received, the biggest challenge I have embarked on....I still have to learn to cherish and enjoy the opportunities that come with these challenging times, I have even had to accept to have fun and enjoy myself.

I wake up everyday with options and today as everyday I choose love, I choose joy, I choose happiness, I choose children, I choose art, I choose nature, I choose vegan, I choose words, I choose dreams, I choose fairies, I choose fruit, I choose the sea, I choose life, I choose nature, I choose books, I choose vast spaces filled with light and soft breeze with in my soul. Today I choose to be happy.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

the princess of the world

Simone playing dress-up

So I am talking to Simone's teacher yesterday and one of the things we discussed was how Simone had not gotten a good behavior ticket in class. She said she had not realized she had not gotten one but that she in fact always behaved and tried her best. I told her that I appreciated it but that I was also trying to get Simone to understand that you don't always get awards and all the attention everywhere. Ms. Liu, her teacher tells me that Simone is a really sweet girl and that everybody loves her. I proceed to tell that I know that, that ever since she was born everybody loves her but that she had to understand that it was alright if things weren't that way and that she just could not expect to be the princess of the world all the time. To this Ms Liu replied "Well you know, with Simone's personality, she could always be the princess of the world!"

The princess of my world!