Friday, August 24, 2007

cloudy days

I am from the tropics, I was born in a city that is 85 degrees year round and now in DC the sun disappeared about a week ago. Then there are all these new issues in the real estate business and the fact that I sell real estate for a living and have a daughter to support, it is scary. At this time I am very much into The Secret and I am attending a Unity Church where visualizations, affirmations and meditations are a daily practice. Nevertheless a sunless summer and everybody you work with carrying a gloomy face, well I was feeling quite blue. All day. Then the most wonderful things happened all through the day that made me feel so blessed and loved and happy...I felt like God was telling me "See, everything is perfect and will be alright. I am taking care of you".

So the blessings of my day...well first my dad had a really bad virus in his computer and we were able to fix it so easily. We had tried to hook him up to the internet at my house and couldn't find the CD and we found it. In the afternoon Simone had her back to school day and we saw her new classroom and met her wonderful new teacher, Ms Liu. Simone was so excited because this year she has a math book and a social studies book and a journal. After visiting the school we went to buy her school supplies and we found everything and had a lovely time together. It was one of those special bonding parenting experiences. I had mentioned to Simone that my favorite teacher in elementary school had been Mr Liu and that I was so excited her teacher had the same name, when we got home I went to look for something and in the box I find a picture of my dear friend Debi, Mr Liu and me, I had not seen that picture in ages and now I could show it to Simone. In the evening I had a wonderful conversation with my ex-husband. The end of our marriage was not a pretty one but we have now built a very nice friendship and I always enjoy talking to him about Simone and how AMAZING she is. Anyway, finally I went down to meet Jimmy...I had planned a evening at home, cooking, watching a movie and just enjoying each others company yet he had something totally different in mind. He was so happy to see me and have me all to himself. He took me to a gorgeous Peruvian restaurant in Adams Morgan...walking in the city, holding hands, candle-lit dinner, a nice bottle of Chilean wine....yummy dinner, yummy dessert....yummy everything.

All during dinner I kept thinking how blessed I am, how loved I am. It was all perfect, every moment of that day was perfect and I had been blue, not living the now, not seeing the blessings. I was happy that I was able to really see before the day ended. I was happy to realize that although the day was gray my life was GLOWING.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007


i have always wondered about the story behind a face, the freedom behind the smile, the struggle before a greeting, the tears before the morning...

is what we see what truly is...will the grass always look greener on the other side?

just trying to make a sense of random thoughts...perhaps i simply need to fly.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

A humbling experience

Very humbling really, so humbling in fact that it brought me to tears. Here I am worried about the most mundane things, designer glasses, designer purse, hybrid car, a bigger house, a luxurious vacation, more clothes, not making enough money, working too much, the $1 million client, bills, not enough education, wrinkles, botox, cellulite, plastic surgery, under achiever, not speaking enough languages, not traveling enough, I am a single mom and it is hard....and really, truly, it is all a waste of time. A waste of thought, a waste of energy, a waste of our minds and our souls a waste of Us. Of me.

My friend Alexandra's brother is an Investigative Producer/Journalist for Pirry a very well known Colombian journalist that has a show somewhat like 20/20 here, but uses street language and tells it like it is, crudely. He recently did a show about Cartagena. A Colombian jewel, an enchanting city that has thousands of tourist visit each year, but that beyond the colonial city, the beaches, luxurious hotels and the million dollar homes and condos lies another reality of poverty and despair. So here it is: Los Fantasmas de la Ciudad de Piedra.
It is a story so sad and unreal to most of us that it makes us really appreciate the beauty in our lives, it allows us to see that there is so much beyond the "needs" society imposes on us. That there are people out there that really struggle, that really have needs and pains and have no hope. No way out other then violence, prostitution, drugs, or death.

It also made me think that there must be a bigger purpose in our lives than self satisfaction...there is only so much joy that material things will bring. Maybe our lives' work must mean more than just a paycheck and a good retirement account. There is a lot to be done for so many people, so many women, so many children. It all made me want to go back home, try to help somehow, coach these women and empower them, shed some light in there life. Then again who am I to think that I could make a difference, that I could teach them something, after all, I probably have a world to learn from them.