A few weeks ago I wrote some sad words about a moment in my life. There were all true, all full of determination and good intentions then life had other plans... after a business trip that allowed me time on my own and some soul searching more challenges came. My reactions are always the same and then today I received an answer: it had been nearly 3 weeks since I went to Unity and today I went and to my surprise we had a guest speaker. A wonderful coach/minister/musician that taught lessons of self love and was giving a session in the afternoon about relationships. An answer to my prayers!
Normally I never go to afternoon sessions because I have Simone but today I was absolutely available to be there. Just perfect.
It was wonderful, it was funny and it was enlightening. I was reminded that what we see in others is a mirror of ourselves. Even what we hate in others. I was reminded that the only true answer is love. I learned that partnerships are spiritual and that we should (ideally) be with people who want to grow and be willing to do the work. I learned so many other things I can't even bring into words. I spoke to L a bit ago and had so much love for him. I truly want him to be ok and I am willing to be there and not run like I've done in the past. What capacity I will be involved in his life, I don't know but I will be there, if only as a witness. I know I can't do any of the work for him and that him not doing it may just mean the real end to any romantic involvement. I know there is a lesson here for me and if I live it bravely and being present and allowing his true soul to shine through then I have done my job. My soul feels complete. I am not expecting anything from him and that gives me so much peace.
The other relationship in my life, well I learned that for one, your marriage will never work if you have not weaned yourself from your parents (DUHHH...one reason I am divorced now!) Second, that we are just not supposed to live with our parents, it's just not natural. So I will manage this situation with love as well. I was blessed with a whole strategy popping into my brain and I am HAPPY!
I had been upset thinking how all this chaos was going to take place in my life, now I feel like I am really up for the challenge. I can do this with love, presence and acceptance.
So for all those that were worried, thank you. Your words and love are a blessing. I sometimes write more than I should, mostly because it's a therapy for myself. In writing I find healing and answers and there are always challenges in life. The only thing you can control is how much you are willing to suffer over them.