lecciones de una manana de mayo

1. Es necesario caminar y moverse bastante en las faldas angostas antes de comprarlas.
2. Estar presente en el momento puede prevenir el tratar de salir de la estacion del metro con la tarjeta de acceso de la oficina.
3. La proxima vez no debo mostrarles la tarjeta a las personas que estan detras mio y decirles que la estacion de acceso no esta funcionando.
4. El te verde me despierta mas que una taza de café.
5. Pero el melon con vino me hace mas feliz.
6. Tengo que comprar melon y vino para el fin de semana.
7. El melon con vino me hace extranar mas a alguien….

my words 5 years ago...

This past year I have lived out of a suitcase, only with my art supplies, my beads to make jewelry, my clothes, 3 books and my AMAZING 3 year old daughter. This all really fits in 2 suitcases...and it has made me realize how simple our lives can really be.

There is so much weight to carry around with all these "things" that we are supposed to need. Less is more as they say...more space to breath, more to appreciate in life, more space to live, so much more FREEDOM!

It's a good thing to remind myself once in a while.

reality

Every stage of motherhood is an opportunity to love unconditionally, learn acceptance, be more conscious, become a better human being, all while trying to guide this little person in this path called life.

If you enter it whole heartedly and see it as the amazing blessing and opportunity that it is, then all the changing and surprising challenges that come with it become less daunting. As little kids it’s easy for us to control our children’s environments but as they grow and they are more exposed, and they are becoming “tweens”….well then, you enter the whole universe of peer pressure, self doubt, being more, becoming less. You deal with tears, questions, many more questions that you have answers to, some you don’t – some you are still struggling with yourself. Many others that you understand your child doesn’t need the answer to, just support and guidance so she finds her own way.

It’s so hard to resist the temptation and not go out and try to fix her world, yet I know that these small challenges, self doubts and tears are a way of life preparing her for bigger challenges to come. I know that she has to learn resolve her own life and accept things in her life she cannot change. Childhood is her chance to get a practice run.

So a few nights ago she was a see of tears because she has not lost all her teeth and her friends and cousins’ teeth are bigger then hers. I am looking at my beautiful child, trying to be compassionate, to acknowledge her pain and her experience…yet I am thinking of all the many blessings that she has and that I am probably the “guilty” one for giving her those teeth genes. I ask her questions about her feelings, ask her to interpret her feelings and then I proceeded to go online with her and show her the reality of children in Haiti. Kids her age that lost both parents during the earthquake, kids that were medically treated a month after the earthquake and had maggot-filled wounds; children that lost movement of their hands, children that have very little at all…

We both sat on my bedroom floor in tears because it is impossible not to see the lives these children have and not appreciate our own realities, our own abundance and blessings. I told her that I loved her and that insecurity is something she will always have to deal with but that she will learn ways to deal with them and keep herself connected to reality. Someone is always going to have more, “be” more, be better or not…but life is not a competition, life is about embracing ourselves and sharing our own individualities and gifts with the world. We all have our stories and challenges to face, things that are out of our control, and we must do our very best with what we have and with who we are.

Then I got the sweetest thank you hug from my daughter and we cried a little bit more together…

best of 2009 blog challenge: the best place

Barista Superstar

I always like to end my year reflecting on the experiences I had. I am always surprised to see how different each year is, for some reason, I am finding myself doing a different thing for a living each year. I am not sure I dislike it so much but a part of me does yearn to be able to say "I have been...for 5 years" so far, it all points to a new job in 2010. I am starting it with an open mind and heart, really not sure where it will take me or if I will like where it will go. I will do my best to make it the best and cease every chance to grow and give back to the company.

I am also ending the year with a strange awareness of how quickly life passes by and how I am REALLY do getting older. This I am really not that happy about because I feel that whatever I make of my life now, is what will be. Is what I will be telling my grandchildren about and what will define my legacy; yes I do want some sort of legacy. I think as a young woman I always dreaded the normalcy of life yet I am finding myself living it and actually enjoying it. I don't think down this path I will be making any contribution to the world, I am not altering history, I am not becoming the best at anything. There is a part of me that somehow expected I would change the world so in 2010 I have to find my path. I have to find that bigger goal then just existence and prosperity to propel my world. I feel deeply that there is something for me to do and I need to find it soon. So that is my main goal for this coming year. This thing I will do out of love, passion and the greater good of all.

So back to the blog challenge and somewhat related is the best place I went to in 2009. During spring break I went to Philadelphia to visit some amazing friends and after stuffing our bellies with Philly Cheese Steaks (mine was veggie of course) we saw this little bakery/cafe with a lady sitting outside enjoying a cappuccino. Natalia started talking to her and she suggested we go in for the experience. Needless to say, this was amazing....the french barista made each cup of coffee with such joy, creativity and passion that we could not stop smiling for the rest of the day. Not only did we have the best hot chocolate and coffee EVER but we learned so much from this man doing his craft. It was amazing.

Voila!

best of 2009 blog challenge: restaurant moment + article

my best restaurant moment of 2009...It was hard to think of a specific one. This year I have really learned the joy of home cooked meals and inviting people to our home. But there are 2 that feel special.Here I am at the restaurant, posing as Simone is asking me to...

The first one was in Rome, after only having breakfast and having lots of pizza Simone and I decided to have a nice meal on a beautiful Roman street and have some gelatto for dessert. I had amazing gnocchi with blue cheese sauce, Simone had pasta bolognese. Our bellies were full and our hearts content.

Simone is happy after our appetizer

My second yummy memory is of all the days we went to the beach and had mozzarella, tomato and arugula frisa for lunch. What was amazing was the freshness of all the ingredients and the arugula was fresh picked from the grassy areas around the beach.

This is Simone walking to lunch at one of those paradisaical beaches

Then for a larger "taste" of reality, the best article of 2009 is the Open Letter Michael Moore wrote to Obama, asking him not to send more troops to Afghanistan. He puts into words what so many of us have in our hearts.

best blog challenge: my best trip in 2009

Gwen Bell started the The Best of 2009 Challenge, writing about the best trip you took in 2009 was the first prompt.

So my best trip of course was visiting Spain and Italy with Simone. There is a lot of story behind this, I always thought that after college I would travel the world. Before that all my attempts to get to Europe had been canceled repeatedly, a couple times with tickets in hand. Somehow after college I found myself being in love, I found getting used to being back in the US challenging and two and half years later I was married and expecting a baby. 3 years later getting a divorce....too much going on to go anywhere.

This summer, after the trip we had initially planned went bust, I jumped at the chance of Europe and planned the whole thing in about 10 days. It was amazing and beautiful and fun. It was also a celebration trip for Simone and I, of all we had gone through and the wonderful relationship we share. It was perfect and cannot wait to get back, I am actually hoping that at some point we get to live there.

what is calling me

Today I am simply copying something wisely written by the lovely Kelly Rae Roberts, because I couldn't have said it better myself and my soul is screaming it inside me.

dear universe,

thank you for the important questions and for the honest answers. thank you for the encouragement to stay true to what calls me, no matter how inconvenient it might be for my timeline, spreadsheets, or checkbook. thank you for the unending inspiration. for creative flow. for heartful exchanges, for truth seeking, and for the everyday opportunities to learn more about what is really truly calling me. i'm listening. i'm questioning. and i'm answering. thank you.