lucky

So I got laid off last Friday. To say the least, I was SHOCKED! and then devastated...that evening while talking to my sister-in-law, she says "you've been through divorce and tough times in the real estate market but you've always had money and you've always been fine and things have always turned out for the better"..."you are the luckiest person I know!"

To this I answered"...really? because to me it has always felt that anytime in life when I've felt I can breath and relax, the carpet is pulled from under me so that I fall on my ass AGAIN!" I then went on to say that I am resilient and I choose to make the best of any challenge and dust off and start building and creating the next chapter of my life but that it takes great effort and I was hoping to save myself from that work right now. The truth is that I was happy at my job, I enjoyed coming in everyday and I really liked my co-workers. I tire easily at jobs but at this one, I did not feel I was done yet...plus no one gets to see the dirty work of being resilient!

On the other hand it really helped me see my life from that perspective, if anything all these falls have caused is that my world has expanded and I have grown. I get up faster now, cry less and get ready to fight it out sooner. I have to go back to my old lessons and remember that I have always done best when I let go quickly, do everything that is for me to do and let God take care of the rest. The details are not my problem...yesterday as I was leaving after picking up my things from work I did what I do at the end of yoga practice where you breath in the experience and it's gifts and then as you breath out you let it go. Namaste. and you move on.

So here I am, with all these plans to keep me busy and learning...and happy to have time to relax this holiday season. And as that old colombian new year's song says "Ano Nuevo Vida Nueva" New Year New Life - I am ready for my bigger blessings and my lucky new year!

a guide to living life

UCHUVA

UCHUVA was born from two friends' desire to bring art and fashion back into their corporate careers. Pilar and Giselle have known each other for over 18 years and although they received degrees in Fashion Design and Architecture, the path of life has taken them on an alternate route in the corporate world and motherhood. UCHUVA’s creations come together on a large antique table surrounded by children playing while their mothers immerse themselves in a world of beads. UCHUVA is a luscious mix of natural materials brought from their native Colombia and a variety of elements they find on their beading shopping sprees.

For UCHUVA's latest checkout www.3littlebirdstoldme.com

girls just want to have fun!

These have been crazy times. A lot to keep me busy and entertained. This fall has been filled with small trips, the last of which whisked me away to Orlando with my colleague. We had lots of fun and even got to attend a Lionel Richie concert. We were so close we almost got LR sweat...I am actually happy we didn't get LR sweat. My colleague profoundly disagrees.

My parents who have been living in my home for the last year and a half, left a week ago for Colombia so this weekend was the first weekend in a long time that Simone and I had alone time.
I must say that I am so impressed by my ability to multi-task.

In just one weekend:

1. Staffed a table for UCHUVA at a Holiday Show...we ROCKED!
2. Went with Simone to my nieces cheerleading practice.
3. Did laundry.
4. Shopped for a babyshower gift.
5. Had a yummy lunch at a restaurant with Simone.
   
6. Attended the babyshower.
7. Watched a very good family movie with my sweet princess.
8. Read a book with Simone.
   
9. Did more laundry.
10. Cleaned Simone's room.
11. Went to church.
12. Went to get a snack and a craft for Tuesday's Brownie meeting that I will be hosting.
13. Went grocery shopping.
14. Cooked lunch.
15. Cooked lunch for tomorrow.
    
16. Cleaned kitchen.
17. Spray painted boxes for Tuesday's craft.
18. Watched 2 movies with Simone.
19. Checked out Facebook.
20. Cleaned my bathroom.
21. Read with Simone.
22. Tucked her in bed.
23. Went online...it's an addiction.

I did SO MUCH...I even managed to get 10 hours of sleep last night. Simone and I had so much fun, we chatted, joked, ate, played and loved each other tenderly all weekend. It was beautiful.

motherhood

This is the most beautiful of the journeys I embark on everyday. I say everyday because each day is different and comes with its challenges and it's blessings. I am now in Orlando on a business trip and I miss my sweet Simone dearly. To hear her little voice on the phone is so exciting...to listen to her excitement as she recounts the daily events in her life.

I can say the 7 is a challenging age. There are more of their own person and you begin to see a bigger influence of the outside world and the baggage even small children carry around. You see there insecurities and their dreams, you guide them through struggles. They become more imperfectly human and you as a parent have to conquer your own fears and struggles to help them navigate their own.

I find myself reacting like my parents reacted and I am trying hard to be a present and conscious parent. To let her to bloom into her own little person and maybe have her carry as light a baggage as possible.

Tonight I will be once again reunited with my baby girl...she is dreamy and I am so looking forward to it.

faith...

Everyday I am learning, as I have probably stated multiple times on this blog. Recently I have clearly seen the power of faith, the power of declaring, detaching myself from the outcome and moving forward. One clear example is my car. When I got back to DC and started my divorce process I got a used VW Jetta. Less than a month after having the car I got into a car accident- my very first car accident. Many people told me to get rid of the car and I immediately decided on my head that that was just something I couldn’t do. I was starting a new job, my credit wasn’t great (although by far better than it is now) and I had no money. The car was repaired and I continued to drive it on an 80 mile daily commute.

Six months later I got into another car accident, when a girl ran a red light. The car was never repaired properly, there were issues with the insurance and continued to keep the car, I have had no AC for years. Last year the car was parked for 5 months and then I had to put more than $2000 worth of repairs - and about $800 per year before. I still kept the car. In the last 9 months it has continued to fall apart, the dashboard looks like a Christmas tree. All this time I have been thinking “there is no way I can get a new car”. A couple of months ago, J was driving the car and put on the emergency brake. Something happened and since then, whenever you drive the car there is an annoying beeping sound. They have not been able to make it go away with out a big investment on my part. I was upset and then I took it as God saying “Giselle, I have tried everything I can think of to make you get rid of this car, I am now sending you the most annoying beeping sound as a reminder that you have to get rid of it. Don’t ask how you are going to get by, don’t worry that your credit is absolutely shot, just let it go” and so I did; and only because God chose the right signal this time.

So I told my great friend that I needed a new car and she replied by saying that she would buy it under her name (WOW!) then I mentioned it to my ex-husband and he offered to buy it too. A few weeks later he offered to give me his current car (2008 Volvo) because he doesn’t use while he’s working. I accepted and just flew down to Miami this weekend to pick it up _ needless to say it is great and probably up there as the best car I have ever had. I got offers from people to drive it up but I had to pay the ticket and it’s still an investment going down and gas. Then a friend calls me out of the blue, that she wants to go because she needs a few days off and will drive back with me (she saves herself the money for the ticket) and boom, it’s set. In fact I bought our tickets 3 weeks ahead and it’s probably the first time I buy tickets 3 weeks in advance to anything in my life. I also got to spend time with lovely girlfriends and have a great time!!

It all came together and I am just amazed at how when we are faced with challenges and we don’t react but just faithfully accept that this too shall pass and it all will be solved – we are delivered with beautiful miracles.

tan corto el amor, tan largo el olvido...

"love was so short, so long the goodbye"
It hasn't been easy. There have been moments of intense longing but there has always been the knowing that going back will take me back to a place where I just wasn't happy anymore.


He has made it easy because despite of professing his love so much he has done nothing. He has withdrawn almost completely and sends text messages like an old friend. I think he was feeling pressured by my expectations and not having lo live up to them and be able to do whatever he wants, just makes him feel better and happier. It's sad because there are people that do not have his well being in their best interest and just want to have fun and will go along and provide support to what ever crazy thing he wants. As long as he continues to be funny and a source of entertainment and he doesn't see that.


I know I can't see him anytime soon. I would fall back into this game all over again. I know I have to maybe go cold turkey. I know I feel better, talking myself through this time, being patient with myself. Letting go of any type of expectation...


I am hoping to start therapy soon, I think I keep repeating certain patterns and I want to identify where they come from.


Back in the spring I had said that I would give this relationship until the end of the summer...and with out me doing anything it just fell apart on its own. Talk about the power of declarations.